Friday, February 20, 2009

Remembering ...

This post may really only make sense to my parents and sibblings, well and GR of course, since he took the pictures. So please allow me to indulge a bit in remembering.

The images are scans of damaged 35 mm film taken, I think, during the fall of 1996, it could possibly be the fall of 1997. The film was scanned back when I was working, so 7 years or so ago. I'm sure scanners today could do a better job of "restoring" the images if I knew where the film was...

They are pictures of me and my little brother Sam (for whom my Sam is named) ... GR and I were visiting my parents for the weekend. Sam had gotten the 68' Chevelle running and took me for a drive on my parents street. He drove me around the two cul-de-sacs and then turned the wheel over to me and I drove the beast home. It's the only time I driven the Chevelle, and I'm glad I got to experience it with Sam.
Now, I wish I could remember more about the experience. If it were not for the pictures, I'm not sure I would remember it at all. What I love about these pictures is the barely noticeable expressions on Sam's face ... the proud confidence of taking his big sister on a drive in a car he'd worked really hard on cleaning up and getting moving ... then the reversal of rolls, as for a few minutes, he became my big brother, opening the big heavy pea green doors of Chevelle and telling me to switch places with him. Giving me the encouragement and the confidence to drive us home, as if he were the 21 year old and I was the 16 year old on my first drive around the block.
Tonight marks 11 years since Cam and Sam's accident ... the accident Heavenly Father used to instantly call Sam home. While the rawness of this weekend in 1998 has healed, pictures like these, or those my Dad recently reclaimed from their scouting days, or talking about Sam around the dinner table this past Christmas, remind me how much I miss him, and how hard I want to work to be with him again.

[** I uploaded the pictures so you can click on them and see them in their larger format ... given the poor quality of the film and the motion blur it might better help you tell when Sam is driving and when I am driving. I'd forogtten the massive perportion difference between his frame and mine ... and yet I could still lift him off his feet when needed! **]

9 comments:

Camie said...

Kathleen--
I never knew you lost a brother in an accident. I feel like I've been learning a lot about you in your recent postings--keep it up!!

suz said...

those pictures are great, kathleen. thanks :)

Heather said...

this is really sweet Kathleen!

I remember that weekend as well, you and I were scheduled to go on VT appt.'s. I remember feeling for you and your family and wishing I could do something but not knowing what.

Matthew said...

I remember teaching Mary Ann and Barb how to use a clutch in that car....

Mary Ann said...

I'd never seen those pictures before. You did a great job writing about them. Looks like you have some happy family memories after all.

Kelly said...

Hugs to you!

Vatti said...

Thanks, Kathleen. It is amazing how much you can actually see in those photos. Many memories. Eleven years--but it can feel like it was just yesterday.

joe said...

i didn't know these pictures existed. seeing them feels like waking from a dream and realizing it was real.

Katrina said...

I've had two sister's pass away in the last 10 years. Hard times! Thank goodness for the Plan, huh!