Girls Camp for our stake is next week, and as the Stake Relief Society Presidency, we wanted to go and be supportive... make a presence, however small, in an effort to help with transitioning girls from YW to Relief Society, etc.
To make a rather long complicated story short... Wednesday we found out that we are the Tuesday night fireside... 5 days to come up with a fun, creative, spiritual, deep, meaningful fireside for all the young women in the stake around the theme of Self Worth… along the lines of Johnny Lingo...
Needless to say, this wasn’t exactly what we we’re looking for, but never the less, here we are and I’m hoping you can help me gain some perspective on a few topics we've thrown around for possibly using in the fireside:
One, identify with where they are now.
Being a teen is tough, and feeling good about yourself as a teen is even tougher. Think of a time when you felt of worth, and when you didn’t feel of worth.
Okay because I'm weird, and have a terrible memory... or maybe I'm just suppressing them... I'm having a hard time thinking of times when I was teased/tortured/picked on... as a youth. I'm sure it happened I was such an average high school student, but specific situations aren't coming to mind.
Second, do parents have any credibility in the eyes of the teen, when it comes to bolstering self worth? Did you publicly discredit it, while silently hanging on it's every word? Did you accept it, or did you totally dismiss it as – You have to say that you’re my parent?
Third, Anorexic Eyes
So many teens look at themselves through what we call “Anorexic Eyes.” They don’t see themselves the way other see them, they don’t see themselves the way their parents see them, and they definitely don’t see themselves the way the Lord sees them. How to you help them look at themselves through Eternal eyes? How do you help them see themselves the way the Lord sees them… and if that’s too much of a leap, how to you help them look in the mirror with healthy eyes instead of anorexic eyes.
Fourth, how does a teen build her own sense of self worth?
I keep going back to having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father. But I know there are other things … like the John Bytheway Back Pack story/analogy… He asks the question of why when we wake up in the morning and look in the mirror do we fill our back packs with negative rocks – I’m ugly, my hair never looks right, why does my nose look this way, my clothes are all wrong, etc. – that simply weight us down. If we would replace the negative rocks with positive pebbles (honestly I’m not sure what he called them) that would encourage and uplift us – we’d be better able to sustain the daily battle.
Fifth, the power and ability we have to lift and build others sense of self worth.
Remember the story about the girl in the seminary class. She sat in the back, always kept her head down and was a mess – literally. The teacher asked two students to do something two simple things, say hello to her, and walk with her across the street. Those two very simple acts, transformed her. She started to walk with her head up, she looked at people, she started to smile. She started to care about her clothes, combed her hair. She was transformed.
I hope this makes sense. I’m looking for stories, talks, experiences – anything that might give us some good material to utilize in this fireside. We have a conference call scheduled for tomorrow at 1pm during Sam’s naptime. So any insight you can share would be helpful.
5 comments:
Did anyone listen to the link Dad sent?
If it were me, I wouldn't focus so much attention on building their sense of self worth. Chasing after it is like chasing your own tail.
It's my opinion that a real sense of self worth can't be given by a teacher telling you you've got it.
I like what President Hinckley's father told him. "Forget yourself and go to work". That's the best story I know of.
I just listened to it... What he says is really true. Parents/teachers/leaders today aren't pushing kids for excellence. They are walking on eggshells in an effort to be politically correct and to keep from getting fired or sued. It's like the kindergartner being placed in handcuffs because the teachers by law couldn't touch her... interesting. I also don't think many adults know how to expect excellence from teens and gain respect from them at the same time. Because if they are simply hard/mean, they won't get it.
Thanks, Joe, for ponting out the relevance of the Coach story.
I like the sentiment that self worth isn't only taught (who in the Church hasn't been told they are a Child of God?), but it is caught by doing things that are of worth to others. Spencer W. Kimball said:
"When we are engaged in the service of our fellowmen, not only do our deeds assist them, but we put our own problems in a fresher perspective. When we concern ourselves more with others, there is less time to be concerned with ourselves. In the midst of the miracle of serving, there is the promise of Jesus, that by losing ourselves, we find ourselves. (See Matt. 10:39.)
Not only do we “find” ourselves in terms of acknowledging guidance in our lives, but the more we serve our fellowmen in appropriate ways, the more substance there is to our souls. We become more significant individuals as we serve others. We become more substantive as we serve others—indeed, it is easier to “find” ourselves because there is so much more of us to find!" (Ensign, Dec. 1974)
Your statement about a reluctance to expect excellence reminds me of the classic discourse by J. Reuben Clark, Jr., "The Charted Course of the Church in Education"
(http://www.byu.edu/fc/ee/w_jrc38.htm) where he says:
"The youth of the Church, your students, are in great majority sound in thought and in spirit. The problem primarily is to keep them sound, not to convert them.
The youth of the Church are hungry for things of the spirit; they are eager to learn the Gospel, and they want it straight, undiluted.
They want to know about the fundamentals I have just set out--about our beliefs; they want to gain testimonies of their truth; they are not now doubters but inquirers, seekers after truth. Doubt must not be planted in their hearts. Great is the burden and the condemnation of any teacher who sows doubt in a trusting soul.
These students crave the faith their fathers and mothers have; they want it in its simplicity and purity. There are few indeed who have not seen the manifestations of its divine power; they wish to be not only the beneficiaries of this faith, but they want to be themselves able to call it forth to work."
This may have gotten somewhat afield of self worth, but I think it relates.
--Dad
Thank you Daddy! I passed the COACH link on to the rest of my presidency and they have all enjoyed it's message.
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